*Note: This article was written for Bolde.com on July 03, 2017. See the original article here.
When you’re in a relationship, you need someone who can keep up with you and isn’t easily scared off. The last thing you need is someone who can’t handle your strength but expects you to put up with his weaknesses. He may have good intentions, but it’s time to end it if you notice any of these signs that he can’t handle you.
1. HE PLAYS GAMES. One surefire way to know a dude lacks maturity is that he finds satisfaction in playing mind games. Instead of being straightforward with you, he feels the need to manipulate you into thinking and feeling how he wants. You deserve someone who treats you with respect and leaves everything out in the open because lies and false promises are never okay.
2. HE’S INTRIGUED BUT INTIMIDATED BY YOU. Even though you may fascinate him, that doesn’t mean he isn’t overly intimated by your bold personality or monumental success. That strong spirit of yours could be the reason you caught his eye but don’t give him the satisfaction of breaking it. If he feels the need to “put you in your place” then he doesn’t deserve you, nor should you pretend to be weaker than you are to keep him from feeling emasculated.
3. HE ATTEMPTS TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS. Trying to evoke a jealous reaction from someone is such a juvenile but all too common occurrence in the dating world. If he’s texting you at night but flaunting other girls whenever you’re around, nine times out of 10 he’s desperately trying to get your attention. He wants you to have him on your mind all day and the sickening part is that it occasionally works. People only resort to this type of behavior when they’re insecure about keeping someone interested in them and don’t have the courage to make a relationship work by being themselves.
4. HE CAN’T HOLD A DECENT CONVERSATION WITH YOU. We’ve all been in a position where the other person is overwhelmingly fascinated with themselves and can’t seem to discuss anything else. Each topic you choose or anecdote you begin is soon interrupted to let you know about the time he blah blah blah… Even when the conversation steers towards something that he’s interested in, he can’t think of anything of substance to contribute.
5. YOU OFTEN SURPRISE HIM WITH YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS. He can never seem to figure you out and right when he begins to feel he has a grasp on you, you do or say something that catches him off guard. You’re an uncomfortable mystery he can’t control and he doesn’t understand or relate to you, no matter how hard he tries.
6. HE WANTS TO CHANGE YOU. We all have qualities and personality quirks that make us the unique individuals that we are. Instead of enjoying the thrill of his mystery of a woman, he wants you to change. Sometimes mysteries are exciting but other times they’re scary as hell. To him, you fall in the scary as hell category and he’ll try to keep you from being who you are to make him feel more secure in the relationship.
7. HE’S CLINGY AND CONTROLLING. It’s nice to feel as if you have control over your own life and can handle the pitfalls, but you can’t control other people. Him sticking by your side like glue and controlling where you go, who you’re with and what you do means he doesn’t trust you. Will you leave him? Will you find someone better? He may believe he’s not good enough for you and soon you’ll realize you’d be happier with someone else.
8. YOUR INDEPENDENCE MAKES HIM UNCOMFORTABLE. The fact that you don’t have to rely on him is enough to make him squirm. While we all love to feel needed every once in a while, there’s a difference between craving someone’s attention and forcing their reliance on you. Even strong women can get stuck in toxic relationships and unfortunately some men are intimidated by independent women. We all have our reasons for staying in relationships that we know are no good and heading downhill. Just because you sense it in your gut doesn’t make it any easier to leave. However, you have to find the strength to leave someone who wants to shatter that independence, making it even more difficult for you to leave him later.
9. HE GETS COMPETITIVE WITH YOU. Instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment for you whenever you succeed, he gets competitive and feels the need to always be one step ahead of you whether it be financially, career-wise, or whenever anything remotely praise-worthy happens. You shouldn’t have to be in constant competition with your partner and having your successes downplayed. You deserve someone who knows how much you rock and wants to celebrate that with you.
10. HE’S ALWAYS WORRIED THAT YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE HIM. Sometimes people need reassurance in a relationship and that’s okay, but you need someone you know you can rely on. When the going gets tough, he should trust that you’ll attempt to make it work instead of always having one foot out the door. If he’s that insecure about where your heart lies, he must not believe you really loved him in the first place.